More About Me...

I is quirky eecentric eccentric purple dinosaur. I is meat-eater, no eat pussy-wussy greens. I is lover of legs. I is hairy-chested macho fire-water drinker of well-developed testes. Gimme moar whiskey! Rawrrrrrrrrr!!!

Horny Hyper Heifers Having Hot Humpies.

*The "More About Me" was written by a dear friend. Who claims it represents an honest opinion of what the average person thinks of me. So, I shall leave it as it is and if you're ever lucky enough to meet me in person, you can tell me whether my friend was accurate in describing me or whether she's just delusional. Til then, cheerio.*

The Great Couple Meme

At the insistence of the significant other, I'm doing this meme to show how much I love her and how committed I am to her. So, without further ado, I give you Ms. Fainty Poo!

1. Tell us about the first time you met and your first impression of him/her:-

Errrrr, I really don't remember the first time I met her. I'm good friends with her cousin so that particular person should have had something to do with it. According to her, its when we went to watch "Memoirs of a Geisha" with aforementioned cousin.


2. What’s a weird habit or quirk that s/he has?:-

IBS.


3. What makes him/her happy?:-

Lets see, there's quite a bit to go in this category. Boots, heels, bags, tops, dresses, clothes, shiny rocks, a good chat, some spicy gossip, food, spicy food, deep breaths, deep breaths with Smelly, me :)


4. What makes him/her sad?:-

Feeling taken for granted, feeling unloved/uncared for. Bloating stomach and cramps (though these are more in the gamut of irritable/cranky than sad).


5. What makes him/her angry?:-

Carrying on doing the things that make her sad/irritable/cranky.


6. What excites him/her?:-

Food, snuggles, debauchery, a chance to dress up, road trips, sisters, Miri friends, good music.


7. Tell us something funny about him/her:-

She's a klutz and is always bumping into something. Actually, that happens so often its not funny anymore. Whats funny is having someone call you at 10am in the morning to tell you she's just recovered from a faint caused by dehydration brought on by extensive trips to the loo as a result of 2 trips to a sambal eatery in an attempt to see how much sambal an irritable bowel can take.

- quite a lot actually


8. What’s s/he like at home?:-

Very casual. Kick ass nightshirt with holes for sleeves and thick rimmed spekkies. Very manja also, unless its hot, which means she'll whine about the heat until the flow of air conditioning pervades the room, at which point she reverts back to manja mode.


9. What’s s/he like at work/school?:-

At school...at schoooollll....at schooolllllzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz


10. Describe his/her room:-

Very messy. The shower stall of the toilet is used to store antiques. There's clothes everywhere. There's a single bed in one corner which is cosy comfy but not when her dog butts in. There's books all over the floor. There's the smell of her everywhere.


11. What’s his/her best friend like?:-

She's got more than 1 or 2 and they come in all sorts and sizes. The one thing I've noticed about them is they're not afraid to grab life by the balls if it screws them over. Kinda like her, actually.


12. Do you know who s/he hates the most?:-

She is only capable of hate for the first 3 days. After that she's goes cynical.


13. Have you met his/her exes?:-

One. Nice dude. One more. Dumb fuck.


14. Do his/her parents like you?:-

Big yes!


15. What’s the first thing s/he would do or say if s/he fell down and scraped their knee:-


Well, most times she does fall down and scrape her knee or receive funny bruises, she's too numbed from the alcohol to realise it.

But in a sober state it would most probably be "OWWWWWWWWW! PAIN!!!!".


16. What would s/he do in an emergency situation with other people involved?:-'

Be cynical and resign herself and everyone else who'll listen that this is not a movie and we are all very likely going to die.


17. Which shop would s/he spend the most time at in a shopping mall?:-

Depends. If she's alone, it would be the bookstore. If she's with friends, clothes/food/alkie. If she's with me, anywhere she thinks I won't be bored.


18. What would s/he have for a typical breakfast?:-

Nothing. She wakes up either feeling bloated and has no appetite. Or having stomach cramps from diarrhoea and refuses to upset her stomach further. Breakfast itself is atypical for her.


19. Where would s/he want to go for dinner?:-

"Cincai".


20. what kind of movie would s/he choose at the cinema?:-

Anything except slapstick comedy or excessively testosterone filled movies. She'll make an exception for the latter category if they show nice buns though. Case in point, X-Men Origins.


21. Describe his/her taste in music:-

Over all, excellent. Though there's the occasional song she likes that I suspect I would have to be high just to appreciate.


22. If s/he wasnt going out with you, who would s/he be going out with?:-

Most likely.........................nobody.


23. What item in his/her wardrobe would you like to burn:-

Anything she can use to tie me up. I'll make an exception for stockings.


24. What is s/he good at?:-

Just about anything she sets her mind to. However, she is also easily distracted. A bit frustrating sometimes because you see all that potential and then...it just fizzles away.


25. What is s/he totally horrible at?:-

Most activities involving masochistic pain and/or sweating.


26. What’s something about him/her that is annoying/infuriating?:-

When she forgets something. When there's no urgency, its mildly cute. When D-Day is just around the corner, its crazily infuriating.

*Lub lub!*


27. What’s something that you two fundamentally disagree on?:-

a) the number of kids we want.
b) the sort of dog we're going to have.
c) the size of the rock for her wedding finger.
d) whether gucci/prada/lv is necessary necessary or 'reallymusthaveifnotwilldie' necessary.


28. What’s something that you two agree whole-heartedly on?:-

Lubu!~


29. Is s/he possessive?:-

Not very.


30. Why would s/he succeed in life?:-

Because of that competitive streak in her. That'll keep her going long after the initial enthusiasm has faded.


31. What is the coolest gift that s/he has ever given you?:-

A stomach blurp.


32. What is s/he obsessed with?:-

House MD.


33. What does s/he avoid at all costs?:-

Sweat.


34. What does s/he spend the most money on?:-

a) Clothes
b) Food
c) Alkies


35. Describe his/her typical Sunday:-

A very lazy one.


36. Why would s/he be dangerous?:-

When she's angry, all she wants to do is to hurt you. She doesn't care at that point about what consequences she'll have to bear.


37. Tell us about a time s/he looked absolutely gorgeous:-

Every time she wakes up, scrunches her nose and says "Lub yew".


38. What’s something about him/her that would surprise all of his/her friends?:-

That her tough front is just a front.


39. What do you love most about him/her?:-

That she's getting better every day. And that she's still schmelly.


40. The biggest lesson you have learnt from loving your partner:-

The power of LUB!



* Lub - Love

Tragedy

Read about the demise of Sarawak's Chief Minister's grand daughter here.

Sadly enough, I can't bring myself to feel even a little sympathy for her unfortunate passing.

My first reaction to the news can more or less be summed up as "One person less to suck up my money".

Sad.

Jesus Don't Want Me For A Sunbeam

It sucks to be me.

Free thinkers and free speech

Why should I respect these oppressive religions? — Johann Hari

JAN 29 — The right to criticise religion is being slowly doused in acid. Across the world, the small, incremental gains made by secularism — giving us the space to doubt and question and make up our own minds — are being beaten back by belligerent demands that we "respect" religion. A historic marker has just been passed, showing how far we have been shoved. The UN rapporteur who is supposed to be the global guardian of free speech has had his job rewritten — to put him on the side of the religious censors.

The Universal Declaration of Human Rights stated 60 years ago that "a world in which human beings shall enjoy freedom of speech and belief is the highest aspiration of the common people". It was a Magna Carta for mankind — and loathed by every human rights abuser on earth. Today, the Chinese dictatorship calls it "Western", Robert Mugabe calls it "colonialist", and Dick Cheney calls it "outdated". The countries of the world have chronically failed to meet it — but the document has been held up by the United Nations as the ultimate standard against which to check ourselves. Until now.

Starting in 1999, a coalition of Islamist tyrants, led by Saudi Arabia, demanded the rules be rewritten. The demand for everyone to be able to think and speak freely failed to "respect" the "unique sensitivities" of the religious, they decided — so they issued an alternative Islamic Declaration of Human Rights. It insisted that you can only speak within "the limits set by the shariah [law]. It is not permitted to spread falsehood or disseminate that which involves encouraging abomination or forsaking the Islamic community".

In other words, you can say anything you like, as long as it precisely what the reactionary mullahs tell you to say. The declaration makes it clear there is no equality for women, gays, non-Muslims, or apostates. It has been backed by the Vatican and a bevy of Christian fundamentalists.

Incredibly, they are succeeding. The UN's Rapporteur on Human Rights has always been tasked with exposing and shaming those who prevent free speech — including the religious. But the Pakistani delegate recently demanded that his job description be changed so he can seek out and condemn "abuses of free expression" including "defamation of religions and prophets". The council agreed — so the job has been turned on its head. Instead of condemning the people who wanted to murder Salman Rushdie, they will be condemning Salman Rushdie himself.

Anything which can be deemed "religious" is no longer allowed to be a subject of discussion at the UN — and almost everything is deemed religious. Roy Brown of the International Humanist and Ethical Union has tried to raise topics like the stoning of women accused of adultery or child marriage. The Egyptian delegate stood up to announce discussion of shariah "will not happen" and "Islam will not be crucified in this council" — and Brown was ordered to be silent. Of course, the first victims of locking down free speech about Islam with the imprimatur of the UN are ordinary Muslims.

Here is a random smattering of events that have taken place in the past week in countries that demanded this change. In Nigeria, divorced women are routinely thrown out of their homes and left destitute, unable to see their children, so a large group of them wanted to stage a protest — but the shariah police declared it was "un-Islamic" and the marchers would be beaten and whipped. In Saudi Arabia, the country's most senior government-approved cleric said it was perfectly acceptable for old men to marry 10-year-old girls, and those who disagree should be silenced. In Egypt, a 27-year-old Muslim blogger Abdel Rahman was seized, jailed and tortured for arguing for a reformed Islam that does not enforce shariah.

To the people who demand respect for Muslim culture, I ask: which Muslim culture? Those women's, those children's, this blogger's — or their oppressors'?

As the secular campaigner Austin Darcy puts it: "The ultimate aim of this effort is not to protect the feelings of Muslims, but to protect illiberal Islamic states from charges of human rights abuse, and to silence the voices of internal dissidents calling for more secular government and freedom."

Those of us who passionately support the UN should be the most outraged by this.

Underpinning these "reforms" is a notion seeping even into democratic societies — that atheism and doubt are akin to racism. Today, whenever a religious belief is criticised, its adherents immediately claim they are the victims of "prejudice" — and their outrage is increasingly being backed by laws.

All people deserve respect, but not all ideas do. I don't respect the idea that a man was born of a virgin, walked on water and rose from the dead. I don't respect the idea that we should follow a "Prophet" who at the age of 53 had sex with a nine-year old girl, and ordered the murder of whole villages of Jews because they wouldn't follow him.

I don't respect the idea that the West Bank was handed to Jews by God and the Palestinians should be bombed or bullied into surrendering it. I don't respect the idea that we may have lived before as goats, and could live again as woodlice. This is not because of "prejudice" or "ignorance", but because there is no evidence for these claims. They belong to the childhood of our species, and will in time look as preposterous as believing in Zeus or Thor or Baal.

When you demand "respect", you are demanding we lie to you. I have too much real respect for you as a human being to engage in that charade.

But why are religious sensitivities so much more likely to provoke demands for censorship than, say, political sensitivities? The answer lies in the nature of faith. If my views are challenged I can, in the end, check them against reality. If you deregulate markets, will they collapse? If you increase carbon dioxide emissions, does the climate become destabilised? If my views are wrong, I can correct them; if they are right, I am soothed.

But when the religious are challenged, there is no evidence for them to consult. By definition, if you have faith, you are choosing to believe in the absence of evidence. Nobody has "faith" that fire hurts, or Australia exists; they know it, based on proof. But it is psychologically painful to be confronted with the fact that your core beliefs are based on thin air, or on the empty shells of revelation or contorted parodies of reason. It's easier to demand the source of the pesky doubt be silenced.

But a free society cannot be structured to soothe the hardcore faithful. It is based on a deal. You have an absolute right to voice your beliefs — but the price is that I too have a right to respond as I wish. Neither of us can set aside the rules and demand to be protected from offence.

Yet this idea — at the heart of the Universal Declaration — is being lost. To the right, it thwacks into apologists for religious censorship; to the left, it dissolves in multiculturalism. The hijacking of the UN Special Rapporteur by religious fanatics should jolt us into rescuing the simple, battered idea disintegrating in the middle: the equal, indivisible human right to speak freely. — The Independent


Bloody good article, the real thing which can be found here.

Damsel in distress

I've tried my best. I really have.

I've tried to be understanding and supportive. But you obviously don't give two hoots about that. When I question the reason for your actions and reactions, I get a tearful "You bastard, how could you hurt me like that?". When I need some time alone to get my thoughts in order, you accuse me of:-

a) abandoning you;
b) running away;
c) not caring;
d) hurting you; or
e) all of the above.


You've been very negative all this while. Negativity makes me tired, it depresses me. Notice how all my friends, fuckers they may be, are eternally optimistic. When I'm tired, I go to bed early. I sleep. I gather myself. And when I call you, you say you truly believe I only want a hole to stick in to, cuddle a bit and eat gluttonously.

Ouch.

Gave it some thought while painting my fence. To you, its all about you, yourself and Irene. You never think about how other people may be hurting. You lash out indifferently. To you, you hurt so bad that everyone else should just drop what they're doing to rush over and fawn over you. You retreat into a bubble of your own making because you're safe in there. If you can't make that bubble, you ingest whatever substance that helps create that bubble, health and sanity be damned.

Its your way of coping. You expect people to understand that is how you cope. But you don't give a second's thought how other people cope. Do you even expect them to cope? Guess not, because all that bad stuff didn't happen to them. It happened to you. Why should they hurt? Why should they have to cope?

When someone you love gets hurt, you get hurt either way. I'm sorry you feel vulnerable and scared and I couldn't immediately rush over but that is no excuse for all that bullshit you put me through. How did you expect me to react when you sent that email to me? The bit about [content removed], I already know. But the revelation that [content removed]? That's new. Shocking.

[Irene: I believe in freedom of speech and all that jazz and I have never, ever told you to censor what you choose to post here, but I'd appreciate it if you do not blab all my secrets out on a public domain. So I've taken the liberty to remove the content I deem inappropriate, just a few short lines from the previous paragraph. I've copied+pasted the original paragraph in a draft copy you can access via your dashboard - just click 'Edit Posts' - just so you can refer to your words in their original context.

Please bear in mind that people do read your blog, they arrive here through the links on my blog, and I don't very much appreciate my secrets published up here for all to see,
all the difficult things I took a good six months to work up the courage to tell you, trusting you yould understand that what I addressed to you in private would be kept confidential. Thank you.]

And as I read it, my mind starts whirring. If it was that bad why did she continue taking trips with him? Why go diving? Why go rock climbing? Why buy that stupid dog that you care so much about? Now you tell me, it was about hope, clinging on to whatever that was left, hoping you could salvage the pieces. Ok.

I still don't really get it but for your sake I'll try. I've gone through six months of you cutting, crying, screaming, pushing me around when you get irrational. I'm sorry my way of getting to grips with reality hurts you. If you can't deal with me hunkering down and being unavailable for 12 hours, I suggest you look for another knight in shining armor. This knight only fights dragons, not the demons in your head.

And you know what hurts the most? The fact that I still love you. I love the way you smile, the way you crinkle your nose, the dreamy contented look you get when I hug you. Bloody hell, I feel like a fool.

FFS

Certain days you wake up and all you want to do is say "Fuck it all".

Sigh. Feels like one of those days today. Fuck responsibility.

Hunny Bunny

Dear Hunny,

I love you.

I know you're scared and frightened. It scares me too. I feel helpless in this scenario. I'm powerless to do anything except watch as you regress into the deep, dark recesses of your memory.

Maybe you're right. Maybe I'ld be better off without you. That is debatable however. Would you be better off without me? In all honesty, and without trying to be cocky, I'ld have to say no.

I've seen how happy you are when you're with me. I've seen how your face glazes over with contentment when I stroke your hair. I've seen the big cheesy grin that comes out after I've just given you a hug and a peck on the tip of your nose. I've watched the rise and fall of your chest during your slumber. I've seen the excitement on your face when I propose we do something special. But mostly, I've seen the way my own heart melts when you hug me and say "I love you".

I really do love you babes. And I do believe that it is our love that will survive through it all. It may change but it will never ever disappear. Even if fate decrees that I lose you to someone better, I will be happy, heartbroken but happy nevertheless.

You do deserve someone who can love and cherish you. Who will come home and hug you tight. Who will never tire of giving you little kisses. You deserve to have someone to snuggle up to on rainy days watching old movies and eating Berry Berry.

I will be your pillar of support for as long as I can. I do not discount the fact that your paranoia may get too bad even for me to handle without losing my own sanity as part of the bargain. But, I shall stand by you for as long as I am able to. This, I promise you.

Lots of love and lots of hugs.

*edit: Changed the title of the post and the person due to an influx of complaints.*