Give me a rope

The shittiest part of being single is having no one to share your deepest thoughts with. Your hopes, your fears. Your dreams, your feelings.

At the end of it all, you turn to synthetic substances to numb that nagging feeling deep in your chest. It helps, for a while at least.

I understand, too late.

Fucking Foo.

The one concert I was looking forward to! Words cannot express how disappointed, angry yet guilty I feel right now.

Ah, fuck this shit, hope you get well soon Dave but fuck this is bullshit.

Life, death and taxes

They somehow got my number.

And my address.

And now I have a freaking tax number.

Which means I now have to start saving receipts.

Dammit, this is depressing.

What a way to end a holiday. I think this calls for HH later.

Sorrow drips into your heart through a pin hole.

It does, doesn't it?

If it comes all at once, we call it shock.

If it comes in waves, we call it grief.

But when it drips into your heart, it's sorrow.

Keep yourself occupied and the "tup" "tup" sound it makes is barely audible.

Have too much time to think, and the sound overwhelms you, pushing everything out and keeping locked in a world of self pity.

Sorrow. Drips.

I guess it makes me smile.

This.

This cover stands out from the rest.

Not for the vocals.

Not for the response from the mosh pit.

Not for the quality of that riff.

For the random inspiration, for the wild days, for the friendship, for the remembrance.

To all those who came and came to pass. For whatever howsoever in any manner that you left your mark on my life. For good or for bad. Your contributions together with those of all those that came before and those that came after have settled into the lumpy mass that is me.

For the friends that have left. For the friends that remain. I wish you all the best.

Thank you.

This Is A Call

This was supposed to be a piece on the upcoming Sarawak State elections, the Interlok and Allkitab controversy and various other misdeamenours but in the light of a good buddy's heart attack, those all-important issues suddenly seem less .... grand.

He had 95% blockage in his Right Coronary Artery. Reading that in the medical report made me think for the first time about the state my arteries are in. I'm assuming a minimum of 40% blockage though I really have no desire to press the matter further. Overhearing things like "95% blockage" was bad enough but being there when the doctor told him that enzyme tests showed that there was a significant percentage of "dead heart muscle" which will "not regenerate" is seriously fucking scary.

The guy still has so much ambition. There's so many things he still wants to do, half of which I want to do with him, and half of which I think is gonna see him serve a long custodial spell. How do you break down previously unlimited lifespan into a number of years? Months? Weeks?

And the mirror swings back to me. Guess 28 isn't too young to be having a heart attack nowadays. What the hell is wrong with this world we live in?

Its a good thing I don't fancy kolo mee as much nowadays. Just can't stomach all that lard slipping and sliding round the bottom of the bowl anymore. Oh well. Til today, to tomorrow, best to tell your loved ones how much they mean to you before its too late.

Management fees: the dilemma

http://www.themalaysianinsider.com/breakingviews/article/no-pity-please-for-those-who-dont-pay-condo-charges-s-gomathy/

http://www.thestaronline.com/metro/story.asp?file=/2010/12/30/north/7703995&sec=north

A single mother's sad story, being intimidated by the heavy presence of policemen or a free-riding, blood sucking leech?

Unless the facts have been drastically twisted, I'm firmly in the latter camp.

What kind of person plonks down RM400k for a condo unit, then waltzes around enjoying the facilities thinking she does not have to pay for the service charges and maintenance because "she has two young children ..... as well as an aged father to support"?

My excuse would then be, "Oh I'm sorry I can't afford to pay the service charges, I'm supporting my parents, 3 goldfish and 1 dog, so don't sue me ya? Kthxbai!".

Our society today has become full of selfish buggers like these; the sooner they are slapped back to their senses, the better for the rest of us.

Bugger all, was seriously considering purchasing a condo/apartment unit in the center of town even despite the risk of poor management and/or defaulting contributors. Now, it seems as if I have to contend with a "I Deserve A Free Ride!!" attitude from some of the defaulters too.

Sigh.